I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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