cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
