and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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