Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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