I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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