you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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