Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize