i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
