is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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