He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Is that strawberry winking at me??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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