idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have tasted many bathrooms
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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