So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
