Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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