you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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