I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just cropdusted the office
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
