when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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