I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
