Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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