girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
