we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
