if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
