remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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