So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
