..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
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I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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