is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
