I have demons in me.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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