I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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