i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
