I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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