Jerry, you need to find god
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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