Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
