you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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