I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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