So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She's the barista slut.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize