Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
