im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
