Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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