Girls should come with a carfax report
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
