how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
