I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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