Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
