hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
