I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
