thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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