I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
