I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
