How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm just crazy horny about you
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize