call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
