Rock
Scissors
Fuck
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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