I wish I could teleport
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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