Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
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