Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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