Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
