How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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