theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
