whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Randomize
