morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There r osticjed everywhere
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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