I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
